Why You Should Try Anal Sex
By Samantha Milne
“But you poop from there!” was my friend’s horrified response as I regaled her with the prior evening’s escapades. “Did it hurt? Did it feel weird? Was it gross? Is Michael gay?” No, no, no, obviously no. Three months, two reassuring girly pep talks, and one rather adventurous partner later, and she is a self-confessed anal lover. So what made her come around? Simply put – it feels good.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of misconceptions about anal sex. The truth is, it doesn’t have to be messy, painful, homosexual, dirty, or degrading unless you want it to be. If your anal experience is any of these things against your will, you’re not doing it correctly, and this article may provide you with some guidance.
So why does anal sex feel good? The predominant reason is, of course, physical pleasure, but I’ll come to that later. Anal sex has the potential to be a very passionate, emotional experience. It requires a great deal of trust, patience, exploration, experimentation, and communication; thus sharing it with your partner can be special and sensual rather than just sexy.
That being said, it obviously has its more hedonistic appeals. Foremost is its taboo appeal – its ‘naughtiness’. The idea that the act is ‘wrong’ or unconventional can be a huge turn-on for some. Anal sex may also put emphasis on gender and dominance roles, which can be quite exciting (especially when experimenting with role-reversal).
It is important to start slowly and ensure that you are properly warmed up before attempting anal penetration. A good way to go about this is to begin with external play. The anus is a nerve-rich opening comprised of folds of tissue. It is incredibly sensitive to stimulation; an ideal erogenous zone to get you in the mood for a little ‘back door’. Rimming (stimulation of the anus with a tongue) is a great way to get started. Not only does it feel incredible and help to relax the recipient, but the saliva may act as a temporary lubricant, allowing for deeper rimming, a sneaky finger or two, or perhaps even a small toy. However, if the recipient experiences any pain or discomfort, it is imperative that you either stop or employ a commercial lubricant.
Beyond the anus is the anal canal. The anal canal is about two inches in length and contains the external anal sphincter (which can be moved voluntarily) and the internal anal sphincter (which moves involuntarily, but will co-operate with the external sphincter). Like the anus, the anal canal is very rich in nerve-endings and super sensitive to stimulation. To avoid pain and discomfort, the recipient must learn to relax the external sphincter before attempting penetration. Usually, light pressure or gentle tickling (perhaps from a well-placed tongue or finger, perhaps something battery-operated) applied to the anal opening will achieve this. At this point, anal beads or butt plugs may be rewarding investments.
Past the anal canal is the rectum. What’s amazing about the rectum is that it is capable of expanding greatly when aroused, making (repeated) penetration much easier. It is about eight inches long, rich in nerve endings, and sensitive to stimulation; though not as sensitive as the anus and anal canal. Unlike the vagina, the rectum is a curved passage. Therefore it is crucial to take it slowly at first to avoid hitting into the rectal wall, which may be painful. Ease in the well-lubricated object of penetration, and allow the anus, anal canal, and rectum to adapt to its presence comfortably before continuing.
It’s pretty common knowledge that the g-spot (or the urethral sponge) is a key erogenous zone for most women, and that its stimulation generally assists in achieving orgasm. It swells when aroused, and is easily located by slipping a finger into the vagina and feeling for that tell-tale sponginess on the front wall. In some positions (such as doggy style) during anal sex, indirect g-spot stimulation can be achieved, potentially resulting in or heightening orgasm for a female recipient. It is also possible (and in some cases, recommended) to manually stimulate the g-spot, clitoris, nipples, or other erogenous zones with fingers, tongues, or toys during anal penetration to heighten the pleasure even further and help the recipient to relax.
But anal sex isn’t just for women. Regardless of a man’s sexuality, anal stimulation and penetration can be very pleasurable. Located just beyond the anal canal, outside of the rectum and towards the front of the body, is the prostate gland – colloquially termed the male g-spot. It feels about the size of a large walnut, but in reality is more like the size of a kiwifruit. It is incredibly sensitive to stimulation. In fact, orgasm is achievable through prostate stimulation alone. There’s a wide variety of dildos, vibrators, thigh-strap or girdle-style strap-ons, and perhaps other curious gents out there at your disposal. So bend over boys.
A common concern about anal sex is cleanliness. Whilst spontaneous anal sex can often work out perfectly with no stinky mess, I would recommend preparing by cleaning yourself with an enema. There are plenty of commercial douche kits available in pharmacies, adult stores, and online; but a thoroughly washed out toothpaste tube can serve as a DIY solution. You may also like to fast prior to anal sex, but this is not necessary, especially with an enema.
Another common concern is the increased risk of contracting infections and diseases (by comparison to vaginal sex). This is because the rectal walls are incredibly delicate, and are thus more prone to tearing (potentially allowing nasties access to the blood stream) than that of the vagina; and because people are less likely to use condoms (thus transferring bodily fluids) as there is no chance of pregnancy. To avoid putting yourself at risk, simply ensure that you are thoroughly relaxed, lubricated, and protected; and take it slowly to begin with. If you plan to insert the object of penetration into any other orifice once it has been in your butt, ensure that it is clean first. In fact, before inserting any object into any orifice, ensure that it is clean first!
As wonderful as anal sex can be, it’s not for everyone, and that’s completely okay. But don’t knock it ‘till you’ve tried it! Anal sex is a great opportunity for pleasure and sensuality on both a physical and an emotional level. You don’t know what you could be missing. Just remember: warm up, lube up, take it slowly, communicate with your partner, and enjoy!